Slow down son..

Sometimes I feel like cuddling my son in my arms and telling him just relax my boy! Wish I could turn back time and make you a toddler again where we would go to the park together, read stories together, fool around together. I would watch cartoons with you while we had lunch, I would take you to the karate class in the evening. Every evening you would go down to play with your friends sharp at 7.
Now those friends are grown up, some like you in 10th, some in 11th and 12th. Those bunch of boys fighting and laughing every evening have vanished, now they are seen in tuition classes or worrying about their future. Now I see you my boy working hard throughout the day and sleeping the minute your head hits the pillow.
Sometimes I feel like telling you bunk the class today and take rest. But you yourself won’t do that. Wish I could make you the cute, chubby 2-year-old again who didn’t have to slog and worry about the future. I know its inevitable and as a parent I wish the best for your future but looking at you working hard relentlessly without a break makes me think why did you grow up so fast?

Spoil the son, raise a savage!

A newly-wedded woman in Mumbai gets beheaded and her body scattered all over, just 5 days after her marriage as her “husband” couldn’t refuse to marry her and was unhappy and so this brutality. In Rohtak, a girl refuses to marry and the jilted lover rapes and kills her in the worst possible manner, mutilating her body, disfiguring her face and doing other unmentionable and unimaginable atrocities. Wow..a girl you like or don’t like meets the same fate, the same brutality!

Here I am trying to make my daughter strong to fight the world and imparting my son to respect women. But I am forgetting that not everyone is raising their sons like that! The “son” is a demi-god and can never hear “NO”! He is always allowed to be aggressive, allowed to hit others, allowed to treat women as inferiors. These “revered” boys turn out to be “savages” in the guise of humans.

Stop asking the daughters to be subservient and raise the boys simply as humans. No discipline from home and no punishment from law is going to churn out more savages like these..

My dear future daughter-in-law

My dear future daughter-in-law,

This is a heartfelt letter from your future mother-in-law.  I don’t know who you are, from which part of the world you will be, but here I am pouring out my emotions as the mother of a son whom I love and who right now loves me the most.

I would never claim that I will love you like my own daughter because that’s practically impossible.  I don’t expect you to love me like your own mother either!  The relation from the womb is a lot different than the relation made by the law.  But this much I can assure you that I will never ever emotionally hurt you intentionally.  I will never treat you as an outsider like many MILs do.  That’s such a grave mistake!  After all, you will be my son’s wife, a part of our own family.  I will always support you to the best of my abilities in all your dreams.

We will both share the man we love, for you your husband, for me my son.  I will try to keep in mind always that both relations are different and would make my earnest efforts never to compare both the relations and create a rift.  This will affect all the relations.  I don’t want my son, whom I love so much, to be torn between two women whom he loves.  I can’t and won’t deny that there won’t be moments of jealousy, helplessness, feeling of emptiness; this is very natural.  After all a child who used to solely dependent on you now has someone else taking care and sharing his life with.  But that is the time when I will try to help myself.  If I overcome those moments, I will have good relations forever.

Now when I read the daughters-in-law getting fed up of their MILs, wanting to cut off relations, venting out to strangers about how the MILs have made their life hell, I dread the thought that might be any behavior or gesture of mine will make you vent out about me like that!!  Please do talk to me, tell me.  We will have our differences; I even have differences with my own children.  I believe communication can sort out the most complicated things as well!

I don’t claim that I will be the best MIL ever, but I will definitely try to be a good one who will treat you with love, respect and equality.  I am bringing up my son to be a gentleman who will be your partner for life and treat you as equal, like his father treats me.  He will treat your parents well, like his father treats mine!  After all, I would also like my daughter to have a MIL who will treat her well.  So, I can’t be a hypocrite!

Lastly, like you forgive your mother, please do overlook some of my follies sometimes.  I cannot be your mother, but at least we can have a good and cordial relation.  After all, I don’t want my “karma” to come and hit me in the fag end of my life.  My behavior will make me distant not just to you but I will spoil my relation with my son as well.

I want you to be happy that I have raised my son well.  I want you to be a happy DIL and not a sad, angry one who will never accept or forgive me for my behavior!  I would want to remember me with love even after my death as I remember my late MIL.

Hoping to have a bright future together.

Yours loving,

Future mother-in-law