The roller-coaster ride of a teen parent

One of the most commonly dreaded stages of a kid’s life for any parent is the teenage.  Even before the child turns into a teenager, the books, websites, other parents instill the “dread” of bringing up a teen.  Well..any stage of parenting, right from a newborn to a grown-up adult, of a child is challenging.

But why look at parenting as a challenge in the first place?  Its like an exam.  If we believe in our head that we cannot write well in an exam, it exactly happens!  Everything is more in the mind than in reality.  Of course, nobody said that it was easy.

But now when I am raising a teenager I realize that we need to think from their standpoint.  They are at a stage of their life where they are battling physical changes, emotional turmoils, big hormonal transition, societal pressure, career pressure, peer pressure..whoa!  Amidst all this if the parents don’t understand them then who will they turn to?  Its an age where they are neither kid nor adult.   They believe they are adults but somewhere deep within they are kids.  They get confused; sometimes they are asked to behave as grown-ups whereas sometimes they are told that they are still immature!  When they reason or raise their voice they are labelled rude, when they keep quiet they are termed unsocial.

I admit that sometimes I also behave unreasonably with my teenage son and feel really bad about it.  But one thing both me and my husband have always ensured is to keep the communication channel open.  We keep on talking to him.  Sometimes he comes and pours his heart out, sometimes he doesn’t do that immediately.  As parents, its better that we understand their emotional turmoil and guide them instead of rebuking them.

Teenage kids can be the best of friends!  I never thought that I would find such a “good friend” in my teenage son.  I can confide, cry, laugh, quarrel, be vulnerable with him.  Kids are the least judgmental when it comes to their parents.

Parenting is a like a roller-coaster ride, with its ups and downs.  Instead of screaming in fear, its better we enjoy the ride!

Forgotten Hot Wheels and Barbie..

I was taking an inventory of the unwanted stuff in my home in order to declutter it. While doing so, in one of the drawers that I hadn’t touched for quite some time, I came across a few broken Hot Wheels cars and broken limbs of Barbie dolls. There was a time when my son was crazy about those little Hot Wheels cars and would collect them and my daughter fond of the Barbie dolls. Today I had to dispose them off as unwanted stuff as my children have outgrown that age.

Unknowingly, I had tears in my eyes thinking that my kids would never return to that stage again. Its lovely to see my kids grow up each day but at the same time I felt some stages of the children once gone never come back again.

There was a time when my son would wait for his birthday to be celebrated either at home or in McDonald’s where he would play with balloons, kids would collect chocolates after bursting the biggest balloon.  They would play musical chair and the child who got out would sulk or cry including my son.

Not long ago my daughter would buy everything in pink; from pencil to cycle.  I was fed up of her pink fetish!  Now she doesn’t even look at the color.

There was a time when both the kids would fight over the remote of the TV to watch cartoon, now that remote lies abandoned as neither of the kid is interested in watching cartoons anymore.

Each stage of the child needs to be cherished and stored as a treasure. Now the tastes and demands of my children have changed, but the fact remains that my son will never demand a Hot Wheels car again and my daughter will never ask for a particular Barbie doll.  There won’t be any birthday parties where the kids will fight for chocolates nor will my kids or his friends sulk over not winning “passing the parcel” or “musical chair.”