Raising the next generation better..

With this lock-down, I see most women hassled and overworked. They are burdened with house work, children, office work, and so on. On top of that, there has been a steep rise in domestic violence too! So..what’s inherently wrong? Undoubtedly, badly raised and entitled men are the major problem here. But why are women in such a bad shape? Even the financially independent women are a part of it. Is it the fault of the upbringing where girls are taught to ignore, obey, adjust and prioritize others happiness over theirs? Almost 90% of women are unhappy. How can we ensure that our daughters don’t go through all this?

On my part, I am raising a son who is not entitled or an MCP, who knows household chores, who respects women. I am raising a daughter who will respect others but not take any nonsense from others. Also, no matter what, she will always have my back. Time to raise the next generation girls to be happy and strong women and next generation boys to be compassionate and feminists.

New academic session in times of Corona

All excited about new class, section especially as the section has her set of friends. They chat, they laugh, they discuss…but all on video call, WhatsApp. The excitement cannot be shared with a hug, with face-to-face banters and masti. Who thought that the new academic session will begin like this? Classroom digital, teacher teaching digitally, friends meeting on video call and Zoom..

My daughter wanted a new bag for the new session. Guess the bag, classroom, and hugging friends has to wait..

No help, no gyaan.

Majority of mothers silently and selflessly raise their children without expecting anything in return. But then there are naysayers and gyaanis who always find fault with her way of raising her children and give her a lip service on how to raise children better; no help or rest is offered to her most of the times.
Right now, its the same with government, doctors, policemen, and other community workers who are working selflessly and without giving any sermons or expecting anything in return. Of course, people from the comfort of their home are still finding faults.
No help, no gyaan.

I am one of them..

I blog and I also work from home since the past many years now. In due course of events and training, I have met so many women from all walks of life, all kinds of backgrounds. Yes..most of them are mothers; mothers of kids of various age groups. Some have supportive parents, in-laws or spouse who take care of the children or keep the kids in daycare while the women are attending the event or training, but still these women multitask there!

On call and WhatsApp, they keep on checking their kids. Some days the spouse, in-laws or parents are unable to pitch in and the women somehow manage that day. They call the sabziwala to deliver the veggies at home,they call up the daycare in between to ask about their kids. Sometimes they get calls from the teachers of the kids in between, sometimes some relative calls. Some days the child is unwell and the mom is sad. Some days she had a hard time with her in-laws or parents. Some day she herself is upset or unwell.

But still such women keep going because they have the passion to do something, they want to learn and earn, they want their talent to get nurtured and recognized.

Women are strong, gifted, inspiring, talented..I am glad I have met so many and I am also one of them..

Real happiness..

When 2020 began never had we imagined that within 2 months the world would see such a bad time. Each one of us might have planned so many things, procrastinated so many times. My son had so many plans with his friends after his board exams. My daughter wanted to rest after her exams and excited about her new session. I had planned to meet my friends post all the exam mania! But now..everything has come to a standstill. Wish people now realize that good health, shelter, food and family love and bonding gives happiness. Of course, money also does! But in these times, not eating out, not watching movies, not going for holidays, not buying that new car all seem so trivial. Our kids have also been exposed to the reality of life. Happiness is living without fear, without panic, without uncertainty.
Praying the world to be happy once again!

Childhood scars..

Whenever I feel low or have the question “Why me”, I read up the stories of Being Social or Humans or Bombay and I realize that there are so many brave people out there who despite their struggles have not given up or have emerged as true winners.
But one thing common in most stories is childhood struggle; mostly financial but the most common ones are childhood bullying. As kids most of them have been ridiculed for their looks, physical disabilities, learning disabilities, financial background, caste, sexual orientation, and such. Childhood emotional scars are for life. They take a lot of time to heal but still somewhere deep inside those hurtful words, those sarcastic statements, the alienation in school and college haunt. When we are adults somewhere we become thick skinned but as kids we are vulnerable. Wish people be more mindful about the way they behave with children. You might jokingly call the child, “Fat”, “Dark”, “Ugly”, “Short”, “Slow”, “Stupid”, etc., but for that child those words are not jokes, they are the scars for life..

Work from home:Easy??

Might be now many people would realize how difficult work from home actually is! I have been working from home since the time my son was 9 months old. I have worked from home in those times when only television or some toys would keep my son engaged. I have worked with 2 little kids running around, sometimes unwell, sometimes fighting. Attending to the daily chores, children, mails, etc., etc., and have done that all! People believe work from home is easy but actually its the toughest thing to do. You are working without colleagues, the office ambiance, plus managing the home simultaneously. Don’t underestimate anything, you never know when you have to do it! 😃

Waiting for Happy Women’s Day..

Let’s strive to make this day really a “Happy Women’s Day”. How many women are really happy? From being in the womb till death, she has to fight for her right to live, her identity, has to fight for her respect, her right to choose career, partner, live the way she wants to. Till the time she is raped, burnt, beaten, ill-treated, subjugated, no festival or day celebrating her will mean anything.

Our generation of parents can make the change by raising both the genders equally, giving both the genders equal opportunities, celebrating their birth, celebrating their successes and helping them cope with failures. I am doing my bit, but this has to be in every family.

The day my daughter and every daughter goes out at midnight without fear, without having to worry about her being molested or mansplained, not judged for her dress or habits, not just being asked about her marriage and not ambitions, will we be really celebrating this day in the true essence.

I am just an ordinary woman with extraordinary power within..

Picture this..

Someone with headphones, doing medical transcription files, making her toddler practice alphabets, keeping a count of whistles of the cooker, responding to a mail by relative, answering the doorbell and again coming back and doing her work, getting up again and attending to the second child (infant) who just woke up, and still being sane!!

Yup..that was me, not now, few years ago, but yes humanly it was possible for me to multitask without losing my sanity.  This is not just me..this is the story of almost all women out there.

I am a woman who can sing Robindro songeet and hum a Coldplay song with equal ease.  I can carry off the old values imparted by my parents and pass it on them to my children albeit tweaking the values a little, being more liberal and more friendly.  I am a woman who can whip up a meal of daal chawal and try out spaghetti bolognese with equal panache.  I am someone who can attend to ailing parents and brace my child’s board exams with equal poise and calm.  I am someone who can attend a blogger’s meet soaking in the lovely words and interactions and being playful with my kids’ friends without try hard!  I am someone who jumps into trying out new things, new profession without bothering that now I am 40 plus.

I am the woman who is feminist yet not a male basher.  I am a feminist who has brought up a strong son and daughter, imparting same values, with no discrimination.  I am someone who doesn’t think twice before writing about women’s issues or trying to bring in a change by teaching my daughter that menstruation is not impure or asking my son to help me deal with my PMS.  I am the wife who is a friend and a support to her husband, a daughter who can bring smile to her ageing parents’ face, a sister who can comfort her siblings on a call or WhatsApp message.  I am a friend who is always there to hear my friends out.  I am that woman who is unapologetic about wearing that red lipstick or taking out me time.

This is me..a woman who is face of the changing scenario of the world.  I am a woman who is balancing and multitasking not just work but relations, generations, values.  I am that woman who is mending the fences between Doordarshan and Instagram.

No, I am not a superwoman; I am just an ordinary woman with extraordinary power within.

“This post is a part of ‘The Woman That I Am’ Blog Hop #TheWomanThatIAm organized byRashi Roy and Manas Mukul #RRxMM. The Event is sponsored by Kraffitti

Raising kind children

With experience you realize that the best gifts you can give your children are values of kindness, compassion and confidence. I feel happy that my kids never bullied any other children, they have stood up for their friends who didn’t have the courage to sand up for themselves. It makes me happy when my kids offer their seats to an elderly, help in carrying bags of others, and I am equally happy when they have the confidence for standing up for themselves when they are wronged. It didn’t happen overnight. It took years, it took efforts and implementing the values as parents. It’s imperative to raise kind children, as we can see lot of unkind grown-ups around!