The real people

One of the best things that I like about director Zoya Akhtar’s stories are the realistic portrayal of the Indian parents and their relationship with their adult children.  Parents in her stories are real, the parents we see around, we ourselves have dealt with.  They are people who are gray, not black or white.  Her movies or now her web series Made in Heaven show the real relationship struggles that happen once the kids are adults and there are conflicting views and generation gap.  Indian parents, just like her stories, can be selfish, pushy, fear societal pressure, don’t want to understand or accept the children’s perspective.  This is being real, that doesn’t make the parents bad people.  Nobody has a sugar-coated, no-fuss relationship with their parents or children.

In most Indian movies, parents are shown to be “good”, without any flaws, but that’s far from reality.  Every relationship has its own set of conflicts, issues, but that doesn’t make any person “good” or “bad’; its being human.

Time to show stories of real people.

Parenting grind!

I come across a lot of posts where teenage kids are shown to be brash, rude and disrespectful and the mom sulking in a corner. My years of parenting experience tells me that kids don’t become disrespectful in a day. Respect and values need to be inculcated since the time the child is a toddler. One fine day a teenager cannot be taught that. Yes..teens are opinionated, sometimes their tone is rude, and rather than sulking then the parents need to handle it with firmness as well as talk it out or sometimes just let the child vent it out. After all, its a phase of change for the kids too. There have been and will be times as a parent when you will feel like giving up, but you know you can’t..simply can’t.
 
Kya karna hai then? Take a deep breath, compose yourself, and go back to the grind of parenting again!😉

I don’t care what you have as long as you love me #Vdayblogtrain

Me and D

 

Radha and Raman were 2 young dynamic individuals who by the age of 25 had a great job, were earning great bucks, traveling the world, partying every weekend, wore only branded stuff.  In Mumbai where realty prices are skyrocketing, they owned a 4 bedroom hall kitchen in a posh area in South Mumbai.  Both were college sweethearts and dated each other for over 7 years.  They finally decided to take the plunge and tied the knot.  It was beautiful and memorable destination wedding in Greece.  They had pre-wedding photo shoot, wore designer stuff, and had a grand wedding like the celebrities.  In total, anyone would be envious of this young couple.  They had it all in such a young age.  They were the perfect example of the “happily ever after” couple.  But an acquaintance told me that they had filed for divorce within 6 months of marriage citing incompatibility issues.  I was surprised.  What went wrong?  A middle-class girl like me always believed that financial stability was equivalent to a happy marriage!

My mind went back to the year 2001 when a tall lanky guy and I met at an arranged marriage setup.  Generally in arranged marriage set-ups the girl’s looks and the guy’s job are given importance.  We both met and clicked instantly and said YES instantly.  I liked his disarming simple smile and may be he liked my simplicity too!  Oh yes!  I was 5 feet to his 6 feet and I didn’t bother to ask how much he earned or what property he owned.

We got married and began our marital journey in a humble 1 BHK of Mumbai with both of us jointly earning 15,000/- per month.  But trust me, we were so happy with each other!  The local train rides, the street food shared together, the joy of being happy with each other was precious.  We had our first child within first year of marriage.  Our son became a part of our happy life.  We never bothered about buying expensive toys for him, our love was sufficient.

So, is it love or money?

I believe love, respect, compatibility,  accepting each other with all the flaws, not having high expectations, letting go sometimes, and communication are the keys to a successful marriage.  If money would have been the key to a great marriage, no celebrity would have divorced.

Money is important for a successful marriage but love and respect are invaluable.

“This post is a part of the Valentine’s Day blog train hosted by www.prernawahi.com www.vartikasdiary.com, sponsored by ShilpSa, Kalpavriksha farms & Neha from @bloggingmadeeasier ”.

Written for the prompt “Love or Money?”

SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLES:

Twitter:  @ritwikaM

Instagram:  @ritwikamutsuddi

FB:  https://www.facebook.com/ritwika.mutsuddi

Blog:  http://www.ritz-speaks.com

Board Exams

#boardexams
When my son was younger, say in class 1-2, I used to be a very strict and paranoid mom about his studies. Like all the firstborns, my son was also the “bali ka bakra.” Like all the first-time moms, I used to fret over English, Maths, Hindi and at times forget that he was just a little kid. Few years down the line, I realized my mistake and introspected. I was being unfair to my child. That sudden realization of my follies made me a much “cooler” and calmer mom. I am still strict about my kids’ studies but I am not paranoid. I am still strict about their study schedule, book completion, attendance, revision but I don’t worry about a bad unit test or few mistakes here and there.
Last year my son appeared for his 10th board and I was cool as a cucumber throughout the year. I saw to it that my son studied on time, went for his classes, and so on. But I never stopped him from partying, going out with friends, playing football, or few days just take a break. I didn’t care whether he would score 95% or not, I just wanted him to do his best and not get unnecessarily stressed out.
This year he will be in 12th and I truly hope I am as cool as I was in his 10th. He is chalking out his career plans and I know he will definitely do something good in life. He has promised me to work harder this year and I know he will.
I don’t know whether I am right or wrong; all I want my children is to be happy. Rest their choices (we can only guide them) and their destiny.

Cherish the relations..

Feeling restless and disturbed after looking at the images of all the young widows, little kids, aged parents, distraught siblings of the martyrs.
 
For all the bickering and unhappy couples, there is a wife who will never get to see, speak or touch her husband again. For all the complaining kids, there are children who would never get to hug their father again. For all those elderly parents holding grudge against their sons, some parents will never be able to feel the warmth of their sons’ heads on their laps again. For all those friends who procrastinate keeping in touch or meeting, you will never have this friend in your group again. For the siblings fighting over trivial issues, you will never get to tease or have mock fight with that brother again.
 
Cherish the relationships, it just takes a second for a person to be addressed in past tense..

Gully Boy–Bahot hard hai bhai!

#GullyBoy
#Righttodream

Everyone has the right to dream! The socially and economically challenged, girls, people from every caste and creed! Its not easy to break the stereotypes, the age-old shackles and mindset, but “daring hona chahiye!” Often we are the victims of our own mindset and inhibitions. Time to break it! The youth can do that!

Take a bow Ranveer Singh and Alia Bhatt! You guys can mold into any character. The ensemble cast has also really performed well. For people who don’t understand Mumbaiya lingo or rap culture, it might be a letdown but the movie is more than that! Zoya Akhtar took a risk in making a film of completely different genre and she has done a good job. For someone who has lived a privileged life to get into the life of Dharavi is not easy.

Let’s appreciate the filmmakers and the actors for trying to do something different. Achche filmon ka time aa gaya! Bahot hard hai bhai!

Gully Boy–Bahot hard hai bhai!

#GullyBoy
#Righttodream

Everyone has the right to dream! The socially and economically challenged, girls, people from every caste and creed! Its not easy to break the stereotypes, the age-old shackles and mindset, but “daring hona chahiye!” Often we are the victims of our own mindset and inhibitions. Time to break it! The youth can do that!

Take a bow Ranveer Singh and Aalia Bhatt! You guys can mold into any character. The ensemble cast has also really performed well. For people who don’t understand Mumbaiya lingo or rap culture, it might be a letdown but the movie is more than that! Zoya Akhtar took a risk in making a film of completely different genre and she has done a good job. For someone who has lived a privileged life to get into the life of Dharavi is not easy.

Let’s appreciate the filmmakers and the actors for trying to do something different. Achche filmon ka time aa gaya! Bahot hard hai bhai!