The Silent Pillar of Strength

My daughter celebrated her 11th birthday last week and since we had gone out of Mumbai to celebrate, she decided to throw a party in a nearby mall for four of her friends this Sunday.  Since all the girls were a bunch of 11-year-old’s it was not feasible to leave them alone in the mall for 2-3 (or may be more!) hours.  So, my husband decided to drive the girls and be there (without being there amidst them) for that period.  He didn’t complain to my daughter about it though!

My husband is a man of few words, and I have complained to him about this many times!  But one thing is always there..his silent support.  He might not say a 1000 words like me but he is always there for me, our son and our daughter without a word of complaint.

I am a blogger and keep on posting blogs on my timeline.  I know even if there are no “likes” on my blog, there will always be this one “like”, yes, of my husband!  He doesn’t believe that kids’ marks matter yet he always accompanies them along with me to the PTM (to save the kids from my wrath!!).  He never misses the dance performances of my daughter, no matter what.  He was a sportsperson during his school days whereas I don’t know S or sports.  So, he has been the one teaching the kids all kinds of sports as and when possible.

I am not a very calm person whereas he is, so it kind of balances out the parenting part.  My kids know whom to turn to when they want to sulk!

Well..people would ask what’s great in that?  I wouldn’t gloat that I am lucky, yet I have to say this that not many Indian husbands/fathers support their spouses/children and be there for them at all times.  Of course, times are changing yet I see so many non-involved partners and fathers.  Isn’t marriage and parenting about sharing life, sharing responsibilities, being there for your family and supporting them?

Even now, while I write this blog he called me up and told me how he is sitting and watching our daughter and her friends dance around while he is chaperoning them..

Money cannot buy manners..

We were flying back from Goa to Mumbai the other day.  A couple entered in the end with two small kids and two nannies.  The nannies didn’t seem to well versed about traveling in an airplane and were confused about their seats.  Obviously, they were booked in the Economy class.  The stewards and air-hostesses were busy as it was time for the flight to take off.  The poor nannies couldn’t figure out where to sit.  Their employers wouldn’t budge from the Business Class to simply guide them where their seats were!  They simply instructed “Wahan baith jao dono”.  Rather the other passengers helped them locate their seat.
 
The nannies were carrying two huge bags stuffed with the babies’ stuff.  Their employer (the man) was “kind” enough to cross the business class, open the cabinet and push the bags of other people carelessly and fit in the huge bags.  When one of the passengers politely requested him not to push their bags, the man rudely said, “Don’ teach me what to do” and returned to the business class.
 
The babies, who were with the nannies, started wailing as soon as the flight took off.  The employers asked the nanny to handover one of the kids when the flight was taking off.  The steward politely asked her to wear the seat-belt and that it was for her own safety.  But again, the employers were in no mood to listen to any instructions or bother about the safety of the nanny or their own child.
 
Throughout the flight the babies kept crying, but I would admire all the other passengers who never complained once despite the high-handed and arrogant behavior of the couple.  The nannies had a look of worry on their face as one can easily fathom how the behavior of a man, who is rude with polite strangers, can be with the nannies (I saw them getting scolded in the airport).
 
Why did that couple believe that simply because they were traveling in business class they were entitled?  What made them believe that they could be rude with the other polite passengers, flout the airline rules, and not pay heed to the steward who was simply trying to be bothered about their nanny’s and kid’s safety?  Why are some people so rude as if they own the world?
 
Well..money cannot buy manners..

What if….no regrets, no complaints

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

I am walking through the clean sparkling corridors of the hospital.  The staff greet me.  Then I meet and examine my patients and they share not just their ailments but their worries with me too.  They say I am a doctor who just doesn’t treat the body but treats the mind as well.  My patients are children who need to be dealt with lots of love and patience.  My job as a doctor is taxing but I love it.  That’s what I had wanted to become since I was a child.

What if I had become a doctor?  Yes, I am not a doctor but every time I sit in any doctor’s cabin somewhere my heart still aches.  I am very happy with my life.  May be I would have treated innumerable patients, instead now I write innumerable stories of my life.

What if I had become a doctor? May be I would have been married to someone else and not the wonderful man who is my husband now.  My kids would have been someone else and not the lovely kids that I have now.

What if I had become a doctor? May be some dreams might have been fulfilled but may be I might have missed out on the fantastic moments that life has offered me so far.

What if I had become a doctor? May be I wouldn’t be writing a blog and taken writing seriously as my passion.

Double standards

Women still fighting to enter a temple

Women being mocked at #MeToo

A 16-year-old rape victim denied admission in a school as if its her fault

Still the birth of a girl child being lamented upon

Still the girls/women asked to dress up and behave “properly” to avoid attention

Still marriage being seen as the salvation for any girl

Still so many women being ill treated at their marital home

Still many parents referring to their daughters as “paraya dhan”

And many, many more things to say..

And yet irony is that Devi is worshiped with fanfare

Whereas women still fighting for their love, respect and care..

Talk to your children..

In the wake of #metoo I have been reading a lot of posts. In one group, there were posts by anonymous people who shared their horrifying tales of sexual abuse, mostly as kids. Those people are adults now, some in their 50s and 60s yet the scar of the shame, guilt, disgust still remains. One thing common about most of them was that even at the age of 11-12 they didn’t know what was happening with them and that in most cases they couldn’t share their ordeal with their parents. That means they weren’t aware about good touch bad touch till that age and had no frank relationship with the parents. This is not surprising considering the fact that most people of our generation also couldn’t frankly talk about sex, sexual abuse, lewd looks and advances by close people to our parents.
 
It is very important to have a free channel of communication about good touch bad touch, saying No, free and frank communication with the parents else the scar of childhood always remains. The innocent child holds himself/herself responsible for the shameless act of the pervert adult. I believe times are changing and parents are becoming more forthcoming and vigilant. Parents’ hesitation to talk about body, sex, and consent with their kids might end up resulting in many more scarred minds.

Can’t life be simpler?

I was watching the old movie Anand of Rajesh Khanna and Amitabh Bachchan today. In that movie one thing I like most, apart from Rajesh Khanna’s character’s positive attitude, is the way relationships are made easily and lovingly. Anand makes a nurse love him like his mom, a doctor’s wife his sister, and another doctor’s wife his bhabhi. He makes good friendship with Dr. Bhaskar, Amitabh’s character too.

It made me think why can’t relationships be so simple and unadulterated in real life? Of late, I have seen lot of “friendships with benefits”, relations of convenience and some motive. Can’t life be simpler? Then we say that our generation and our kids’ generation has become more practical. They learn by observing us, don’t they?

The 21st Century Cinderella

When you raise a feminist daughter, fairy tales ka band baj jaata hai😂My daughter’s class had an essay writing competition yesterday and she chose to write the topic “How she would have rewritten the Cinderella story!”
 
As per my daughter, had she been Cinderella:
1. She would have stood up for her self-respect and not tolerated the humiliation by her step-mother and step-sisters.
2. She would have gone plain and simple to the ball. If the prince had to fall in love with her, he would love her as she is and not be besotted by her beauty.
3. She would or would not choose to marry the prince after the shoe fit her. She could lead an independent life too!
 
And yes..she secured third place in the essay writing competition😀