I am not indispensable..

Last week my kids had 5 days of Ganpati holidays. I decided to visit my parents in Baroda. This was the fourth time I was going alone without my kids and husband, the earlier 3 times being more of an emergency situation. This time I simply went to meet my parents, sister, nephew and niece. Only 2 days, yet it was so fulfilling. I didn’t even have to worry about a single minute as to how my kids were doing. I knew they were in the safe hands of their father and that they would manage. I didn’t cook anything and store in the fridge, I didn’t check whether my husband and kids were doing things “correctly” or not. I simply let them be. The kids managed pretty well, enjoyed their holidays, did household chores along with their dad, wen to their friends’ houses for Ganpati darshan, and there I was having a gala time with my parents and sister.
 
Trust the husband, trust the kids when they are slightly grown up, and don’t bother whether things were managed as per your accordance. We women are not indispensable, let’s take it more easy.

Teaching children life skills

#kidslearnlifeskills
 
Learning life skills is very important for children. As parents we are always there to help them, but sometimes we should let them handle their own stuff. My son has already learnt the skill of commuting by local trains and BEST buses by now. Its not that he cannot go by an auto daily to the station, but here comes the skill of being financially disciplined and learning time management too. He himself found all the routes of buses and train. Last week the college told them to submit their eligibility form, which was to be collected from Vashi, Navi Mumbai. Me or his dad could have gone and collected the form for him, but we asked him how he would manage. He asked one of his Navi Mumbai friends to get the form, but today the friend said they could get the form from college. Then they had to do some “bhaga-daudi” to get sign, stamp, etc., etc., but ultimately everything was done.
 
It feels really good when the kids slowly start becoming self-reliant and learn the skills of becoming independent, learn to approach people, negotiate and be street smart. All these skills will help them in the future.

Don’t sacrifice so much that you resent the people for whom you sacrifice

#dontbetoosacrificing
 
Women generally try to make everyone happy everywhere, be it family, relatives, workplace, neighborhood, and so on. But we all know it is humanly impossible to make everyone happy! I have seen women complain that “Mujhe to ghar ke kaamon se chutti hi nahin milti.”. I do everything from scratch, I do everything single-handedly. I want my home to be spic n span, I want to prepare 5 meals with loads of variety, I will handle my kids alone, I will try to adjust my schedule as per the relatives’ convenience, I will feel guilty to take time out for myself, etc., etc. Ultimately, in trying to make everyone else happy the women themselves become disgruntled, unhappy, depressed, complaining souls!
 
Don’t try to handle everything alone, you simply can’t! Do you ever ask the people whom you are trying to please whether they are really pleased with you? Have they ever asked you what makes YOU happy? Go take that well-deserved chutti from housework one day. Let your children eat some junk one day. Let your house be a little less cleaner one day. Assign work, seek help, learn to say NO.
 
Stop sacrificing so much that you hold feel resentment towards the people for whom you are sacrificing. Treat yourself as a human and not as a robot.

Lets fight against Flu

As a mother, we are always worried about our kids’ health.  We try our best in protecting them against various diseases.  Common cold and flu is something which infects the kids very often, specially the children between the ages of 0-5.

Despite all the research and experience that I have as a mother, I was still not aware of many aspects of influenza and its prevention  https://bit.ly/2oO1LmC; I had the good fortune to get to hear from renowned doctors and get my doubts and myths cleared in the influenza bloggers meet I got to attend on February 27, 2018.

Renowned paediatrician Dr. Uday Ananth Pai and eminent gynaecologist Dr. Mukesh Gupta were on the panel.

Dr. Uday Pai who is a Pediatrician (MD, DCH Distinction ) has 29 years of work experience in strategy and business development, consulting, research and analytics, project management and developing strategies for global pharmaceutical, healthcare and nutrition businesses and products.  Dr. Pai gave some very useful insights about flu.  He said that it was a myth that healthy individuals cannot get infected by flu.  Everybody is equally susceptible.  Moms can pass on the flu to their kids.  So, as per his him,  “You yourself can give your child a flu! So moms, please get yourself vaccinated.”  He said vaccines take 4-6 weeks to develop immunity in the body.  When asked by moms when is the best time to get the child vaccinated, Dr. Pai said “April, May, June is the best period to take influenza vaccination for children and whole family for complete prevention against flu” –

Dr. Mukesh Gupta is a Gynecologist/ Obstetrician, practicing in Mumbai. He holds a rich experience of 16 years in his field. Apart from academic excellence (topper in University at the MD Ob/GynExamination), he has been awarded the ‘Emerging Star of Medicine’ by Indian Medical AssociationMWSB..

Dr. Gupta said the people who were considered to be at most risk were pregnant women, children between 0-6 months, senior citizens, and people suffering from general debility.  He bust a very common myth and said that common cold and influenza are NOT the same.

He also said that women should start preparing their body before getting pregnant and as per him, “Go take a flu vaccine, even before you can get pregnant. Only a healthy body can bring a healthy baby, preconception vaccine is important.”  He also enlightened us by stating that there are different types of virus strains causing flu and that vaccinating the entire family every year is very important.   Dr. Gupta also made a very valid statement when he stated that the entire family needs to go for “samuhik vaccination” as flu is contagious and can spread very easily from one person to another and hence to protect the babies the entire family needs to get vaccinated.

Both Dr. Pai and Dr. Gupta emphasized more on prevention than cure.  Dr. Pai emphasized on how pregnant women should get vaccinated because during pregnancy the body’s immunity is compromised and the complications arising from influenza can affect the pregnant woman much more than in a non-pregnant woman.  Since babies and pregnant women are more at the risk of having influenza bouts, it better to take preventative measure by vaccinating them beforehand.

We also got to hear celebrity mom, the very beautiful Genelia Deshmukh who shared her own experiences as a mother.  She urged all the moms to go and talk to their paediatricians and gynaecologists and get all their questions answered about flu.  She said how her younger child can get affected by flu from her older child and hence it becomes very important that entire family gets vaccinated.  I liked when she said that every mother must be a warrior and not a worrier.   She said that by talking to the pediatrician more about flu and its complications as well as the importance of vaccinating the children as well as the entire family a worrier mother can become a warrior mother!

For more information, please do visit this website:

http://www.mothersagainstinfluenza.in/

Looking for a doctor in your vicinity to vaccinate your child?  Finding it difficult to locate a good doctor.  Worry not.  Refer this list and get a list of doctors in your vicinity by entering your area pin code.

http://www.mothersagainstinfluenza.in/doctor-list.html

 

” ‘ Disclaimer: I attended a discussion on influenza awareness facilitated by Abbott India Limited. Any opinion expressed in this blog is my personal opinion and not the opinion of Abbott India Limited. Abbott India Limited does not assume any liability for the content of the blog. The blog post is not meant to be a replacement for a doctor consultation, nor is it a medical recommendation or prescription of treatment for babies having Influenza. Any reader of this blog or their family members suffering from Influenza should specifically consult his/her doctor for the same and follow the suggested course of treatment.’ ”

 

Quick Tips For Looking Good, Feeling Good..

Women in general and moms (always) are short of time.  They are handling and juggling multiple things together and in doing so they forget to groom and take care of themselves.  Of course, going for elaborate rituals is a luxury for most moms, and eventually they feel like they are neglecting themselves and not looking smart and good.

Here are a few handy tips for all the women/moms out there to get a smart look in a matter of few minutes and feel good!  Every woman is beautiful, still there is no harm in staying well groomed or dressing up well.

1.  Most new/young moms are so worked up that they don’t even get time to comb their hair.  It takes a toll on the hair as well as the look.  If your religion/conscience permits, go for a shorter haircut.  It is more manageable and gives a “cool” look too.  No need to follow elaborate rituals for hair.

2.  Taking care of skin is also a big task for many women.  While doing the daily chores, you can apply a quick face-pack of besan and curd or rub a fruit slice.  There are many ready-made face-packs available in the market too.  Choose one as per your skin type, apply for 10 minutes and then take bath.

3.  Try mixing and matching outfits.  Invest in good pair of jeans, blazers, few shrugs or stoles of different colors.  This can be mixed and matched with all shirts and T-shirts.  Few colorful kurtis, maxi and midi dresses are also life saviors, which can be worn anywhere.  For a more “party” kind of look, accessorize well and do a brighter makeup.

4.  Chunky fashion jewelry can up the style quotient big time.  It can stylize a simple look.  Buy a few good neck-pieces, earrings, danglers and it can make you a style diva without spending too much time or efforts.

5.  If you are interested in makeup, master the art of basic makeup, which once you get a hang of takes less than 10 minutes.  Prepping the face with moisturizer, then primer, concealer foundation/BB cream/CC cream, then compact and a touch of your favorite lipstick and kajal.  When too short of time, BB cream, compact, and kajal and lipstick can be used for makeup.

6.  Always have good pair of comfortable shoes and sandals.  If you are not a high heel person, then simple wedges and sneakers also give a stylish look.

Last but not the least, always be happy in your own skin.  A few kilos here and there, a few wrinkles or white hair here and there shouldn’t bother you.  It won’t take away the beautiful person that you are.  Its just that dressing up will make you feel good.

Love revived

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Priya was very excited today.  She had planned a surprise for her husband Rajan’s 50th birthday.  Rajan was a reserved guy who didn’t believe in throwing parties or celebrating birthdays in a flamboyant fashion.  He preferred quiet family dinner.  This year their children,  Veena and Uday, 20 and 18 respectively had left home for further studies.  Rajan had been keeping extremely busy lately and was stressed out too.  Priya was worried about his health.  They hadn’t taken a break for a long time and so Priya had decided that she will take Rajan out for his surprise birthday outing.

She knew Rajan loved being amidst nature.  When they were young they ventured out to the woods often.  It had been years owing to work and responsibilities that they had stopped that ritual.  Priya decided to revive that.  She had booked a great forest resort in Bandipur and started meticulously planning everything.  She had packed some sensuous dresses, perfume, cards and a love letter sealed in an envelope that she had decided to give him on his birthday.  The child in her had packed some colorful heart-shaped balloons too, with which she had decided to decorate their suite.

Only 2 days were left for Rajan’s birthday.  Priya was excited.  She was 46 but these days she felt like she was 26 all over again!  Fortunately, Rajan’s birthday was on a long weekend this year.  This had helped her plan her stuff better.

“Happy birthday to you”, Priya woke up Rajan with a kiss.  Rajan was surprised.  Priya used to wake him up like this in the initial years of their marriage, but later as monotony set in she had stopped doing so.  He was surprised and happy!  “Thanks love for making this 50-year-old feel like 30 again!”  Priya blushed and said, “Wait, I will make you feel like 20 tonight.  Now go and have your bath and get ready.  We will go out in a while.  Please no work for 2 days now!”

Rajan got ready and they got into the car.  Priya drove the car and Rajan thought she would stop at their favorite joint, but she drove past that and they were on the highway now.  Rajan asked her, “Darling, what’s going on?  Tell me where are we going?”  She said, “Seems you are used to Bengaluru traffic.  Now time for some peace!  Don’t ask me anything till we reach our destination.”  Priya smiled and winked at him.  Rajan felt really happy after a long time.  He was overworked and needed a break.  “How thoughtful and loving is my Priya.  Seems as we are starting our life all over again.”  He smiled to himself.

Bandipur forest resort was not too far away now.  Only half an hour was left now to for the beginning of their dream break and celebration.  Rajan was almost dozing off when Priya suddenly stopped the car with a screech.  It was a secluded patch and it was almost evening.  Two masked men came in front of the car and Priya had to halt the car.  One of the men, in a fraction of second, put a pin in the front tyres and both the front tyres were flat now.  They signalled them to open the windows.  When Rajan and Priya refused, they threatened to break the windows.  Both knew they had no choice in this forest now.  As they opened the windows, the men asked for all the valuables from them.  The burglars seemed dangerous; they had knives.  Before they could ask them to open the dickey, they saw a police patrol jeep coming and the burglars fled away.

By now, Priya and Rajan were shaken, but they stopped the police jeep and asked for help.  The police was helpful enough and helped them lodge a complaint and get their tyres fixed.  By the time they reached the resort, it was very late, almost 11:45 pm.  Priya was shaken and at the same time very, very upset that her surprise plan was ruined this way.  She went inside the room, embraced Rajan and started crying.  Rajan said, “Its okay darling.  We are safe and sound and you are with me and that’s what matters the most.”

As Priya went in the bathroom to freshen up, Rajan opened the suitcase to take out their night clothes.  As he emptied the suitcase and kept their stuff in the cupboard, he saw a sealed envelope hidden amidst the clothes.  He became curious as he saw his name written on the envelope.  He tore it, took out the letter and started reading it.  It said, “Dear Rajan, I wish you a very happy birthday.  I know we both were drifting apart lately, but I want to tell you today how much I love you.  You mean the world to me.  I might have not expressed my love well in the past few years, but today I want to shed all the inhibitions and surprise you with my new avatar.  Hope you also love me as you used to love me 25 years ago.  Always yours, Priya.”  Rajan had tears in his eyes.  They had lost so many precious moments.  He felt really bad for Priya that the burglars had spoiled her surprise for him.  Just then Priya came out and saw Rajan with the letter in his hand.  Rajan smiled and hugged her.  He said, “Lets not waste any of our time now lamenting on what happened.  We have already wasted so many years not expressing our love for each other.  We still have so many hours and years of togetherness left.”

Priya smiled and said, “Wait!  Let me decorate the room first.  I wanted it to be a surprise, but…”  Priya took out the packet of heart-shaped balloons and Rajan smiled.  Both of them started to inflate the balloons and decorated the room together.  They had revived their love in a new way again.

Their was serenity and peace in the forest as well as in their hearts.

‘30 Things That Make Me Happy‘.

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Happiness comes in all forms and from everywhere.  Small things give us more happiness most of the times.  So, when I saw this prompt, it set me thinking what are those 30 things which really make me happy.  Listing them down here:

  1. Being with my husband and children.  It might sound cliched but yeah it does!
  2. Eating a crunchy toast with loads of butter.
  3. Wearing my kajal and red lipstick.
  4. Cuddling with my teenage son.  It seems as if simply the body has become more lanky and strong, else gives me the same feeling that it used to when he was a little chubby baby.
  5. Watching movies or series with my husband.  Great to keep our relationship alive!
  6. Masala chai with cookies.
  7. Aroma of freshly baked cookies and cake.
  8. The toothy and innocent laughter of a baby.
  9. Writing blogs and sharing anecdotes of my life is therapeutic.
  10. Giggling with my preteen daughter on all sorts of nonsensical funny jokes.
  11. Traveling in a cab across the length and width of Mumbai city (yes amidst all the chaos and traffic).  I love Mumbai.
  12. Trying out new shades of hair color.
  13. Painting my nails in new shades.
  14. Cooking chicken curry and rice.
  15. Talking to my mother.
  16. Helping a new mother with my own experiences.
  17. Giving a depressed woman pep talk and motivating her.
  18. Irritating my husband when he is on mobile!
  19. Watching my children becoming independent and responsible.
  20. My heart swells with pride when I see my teen son being respectful to women.
  21. Happiness is when my husband and son cook a sumptuous breakfast and dinner for me.
  22. Listening to old songs and reminiscing our childhood with my husband.
  23. Watching the rains from my 14th floor apartment.
  24. Going in events and meeting new people, especially inspiring women.
  25. Catching up with friends over coffee/lunch.
  26. Going on a long drive with my family and watching the night sea in Bandra Bandstand or Worli Seaface.
  27. Learning new skills.
  28. Wearing a new outfit and feeling glamorous!
  29. Group hug with my husband and children.
  30. Closing my eyes and falling asleep immediately.