Reality check

I am a regular user of Ola cabs and have encountered so many different kinds of drivers and passengers (in share). Yesterday while coming back from an event chanced another such entertaining cab driver.
He was a young man in his early 20s. The FM was playing and there was a program airing in which various moms were being interviewed. One of the moms was a single unwed mom who said, “I don’t think in today’s day and time a woman requires a father to raise her child.” The driver lowered the volume of the radio and said, “Madam, ye to ekdam galat baat kahi! Sab aisa sochne lagenge to kya hoga hamare country ka. Kya ho gaya hai aajkal ke generation ko.”
I felt like laughing as he was also a young man of the young generation. We talk about empowerment and change, etc., but there is a big clan out there who cannot digest the rapid changes that is happening in the society, especially if women take a step which is “bold” as per the society.
Sometimes life gives a reality check of the society..

Don’t be scared my girl..

My 10-year-old daughter is already showing signs of puberty in her body. I have already told her for periods. Yesterday again I was talking to her about “Why periods happen?” She said, “Mom, I am a tad scared of the blood loss. I hope it doesn’t make me weak.” I reassured her that her healthy diet and physical activities will ensure that she remains fit and fine. She also confided how her friend told her that her mom showed her how to use a sanitary napkin.
Times are changing, mothers are evolving, girls as young as my daughter are no more shy to discuss about periods as they know its a normal process. We just need to reassure the girls that they need not be scared or disillusioned about periods. At every step, we parents are there to guide them and make them stronger..
Few years ago I had a heart-to-heart discussion with my son about menstruation and made him aware about it so that he can understand and be compassionate. Now I am preparing my daughter to actually handle menstruation without being bogged down or being embarrassed about it.
That’s why its said that a mother is the first teacher..

Traffic tamasha..

Cars honking at the cars who stop at red signal and follow rules. Pedestrians running and crossing the roads abruptly at highways and green signal. People slowing down and watching “tamasha” of accident or two people fighting right in the middle of heavy traffic. People not bothering about others and creating a huge traffic jam and fighting right in the middle of the road instead of sorting it out in some other quieter place. People not wearing helmet. People coming wrongly from the opposite side instead of taking a “U-turn” just to save time. People driving in high beam on highways and not paying heed despite giving indications. People getting off moving buses. People riding two-wheelers in the middle of the lane. People spitting out from moving vehicles.

Why can’t people follow traffic rules and etiquette? Is it so difficult? The same abide by the rules diligently when they are abroad. What’s wrong with us?

तू औरत है..थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले!

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

तू लड़की बनकर पैदा हुई है

तो क्या हुआ अगर तेरे जन्म पर सब अफ़सोस मना रहे हैं

तो क्या हुआ अगर तेरे आने पर सब ढाढ़स बंधा रहे हैं

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

तो क्या हुआ अगर तेरे कपड़ों में नहीं लड़कों के नियत में खोट है

तो क्या हुआ अगर तेरे आत्मसम्मान पर यह एक चोट है

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

तू कम पढ़ तेरे भाई की पढाई ज़्यादा ज़रूरी है

हमारे पास पैसे कम है थोड़ी मजबूरी है

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

तेरे पापा रिटायर होने वाले हैं शादी कर ले

भले ही तू तैयार नहीं न्योछावर अपनी आज़ादी कर ले

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

तो क्या हुआ अगर तेरे पति तुझे मारते हैं

कभी कभी तुझपर जान भी तो वारते हैं

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

अपने सपने दूसरों की सेवा में त्याग दे

अपनी अरमानों की चिता को जीतेजी ही तू आग दे

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

की बच्चे तेरे बड़े हो रहे हैं

अपने पांव पर अब खड़े हो रहे हैं

तुझे उनकी देखभाल करना है

ये और बात है की ज़माने के हर ताने का

सामना भी तुझे ही करना है

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

तू तो औरत है त्याग की मूरत है

यही कहना ज़माने की फितरत है

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

की कभी तू बेटी, बहु, पत्नी, माँ, या सास है

कभी तो तेरा भी दिन आएगा

यही तेरी आस है

थोड़ा एडजस्ट कर ले

यह कहना आसान है

मत करो हमेशा एडजस्ट

देना हर औरत को अब यही ज्ञान है..

Just one last time..

Just one last time..

Let’s go, its getting late
This was in your fate

Just one last time..
Let me see my kids and kiss them
You know when I am away how I miss them

Just one last time..
Let me argue with my husband over petty things
Let me thank him for being the wind beneath my wings

Just one last time..
Let me make a call to my aged mom dad
I know I can’t afford to make them sad

Just one last time..
Let me post a blog on the Facebook
Let my words have the last look

Just one last time..
I plead you DEATH don’t take me away so soon
I cherish my life, its the biggest boon.

Syria, soldiers, poverty..are they the only index of compassion?

This week there have been many posts on the social media about Sridevi after she passed away untimely and suddenly.  She was an acclaimed actress who entertained people for decades.  She deserved all the praise, condolences, remembrances, obituaries.

But hey wait..there were few pseudo-intellectuals everywhere who kept on adding, “Why are we covering Sridevi’s death news so much?  Lets pray for Syria.  Lets remember our soldiers. Why was Sridevi cremated with full state honors? What was her contribution?”  Every time I came across such remarks I cringed.

Why do people have to bring Syria, soldiers and poverty in every post which is talking about someone or something else?  There is a time and context of everything.  We all respect our soldiers, we all are worried about Syria, we all want to eradicate poverty, but why should that be mentioned out of context when someone is posting an obituary or article about the late Sridevi?

Every news has its own relevance.  If you don’t like it, scroll down, don’t read, but don’t try to portray that you are the only compassionate soul on earth!  A Padmashree awardee in our country has the right to be cremated with full state honors.  A soldier’s contribution cannot be compared to an artist’s!!!  Both have their own contributions.

Its high time people stop being judgmental and bring Syria or soldiers in every post and try to show everyone else in a bad light.  Every person or every incident has its own relevance.

Give respect to everyone, every profession..


Believe when the child says the touch made him/her uncomfortable

Child sexual abuse cases are rampant in our country.  No, its not a new thing.  Only now people have started talking about it more in the open.   I remember my mother saying that during their times if the child used to confide in the parents that some elderly relative or friend of the parents had given “uncomfortable vibes” or touched inappropriately, the parents would either not believe the children or just ask them to hush the matter as it would be “disrespecting” those elders!

I thought times have changed since then!  But I guess I was wrong.  In the recent incident where singer Papon kissed a minor on a television show inappropriately, her father made a statement that Papon was showing his affection just like a parent would!  I mean really!  The girl was visibly uncomfortable.

For whatever reasons it might be, whether the dad was pressurized or he was worried about the singer’s clout and status, he let his daughter down.  Later the girl also made a statement that she wasn’t uncomfortable.  It was clearly out of pressure.  So, did the cameras lie?  Was the act justified in the name of “affection”?

Sexual abuse in children shouldn’t be taken lightly.  It creates a scar for rest of the life.  Our country in the name of respecting elders takes a lot of liberty.  The elders can bully the younger lot, they can kiss and touch them in the name of affection inappropriately, they can insult or humiliate them!

Respect is commanded and not demanded.  One doesn’t earn respect simply by the virtue of his/her age.  Data show that most of the child abuse cases are from close relatives and friends whom the parents trust.

Nobody, absolutely nobody, is above our children.  We make a promise to protect them no matter what, no matter from whom.  So, if they come and confide/complain that they are uncomfortable, please believe in them.  Save them from the lifelong trauma.