Thanks my kids’ humble school

Sometimes we don’t realize what we have until we see others struggling to have it!
Today I would like to thank the humble, flawed, not-so-big-name school of my children. When I see the so-called big schools charging exorbitant fees, charging money for any and everything, toddlers being interviewed and rejected; I cherish my kids’ school much more. This is the school where my son studied from KG 2 and finished his 10th last year. This is the school where my daughter has been studying since nursery. The school doesn’t have a huge pool, a big playground, fancy library, AC classrooms, but here’s where my kids have learnt life skills. My son has learnt teamwork and football skills in the small playground, my daughter is learning the ropes of athletics and football in the same ground. The ground is not fancy but the sports teachers who are doing a commendable job. I agree that there are flaws, heavy bags, some inefficient teachers too, but at least I as a parent can go and talk to the teachers! The flaws are partly because of our education system too! There are some awesome teachers from whom my kids have learnt a lot.
My son every single day misses his school now that he is in college. Both my kids never wanted to change this school for a “better” school. Most of the teachers, maushis, principal, staff know them since they were toddlers and hence its more like their second home.
On days I have felt my kids should have been in a better school, but after looking at the current state of many parents of toddlers who are in distress because of school admissions and the money, I am happy that my kids are a part of this school, which has given them many happy moments and a good foundation.

Hang in there!

Whenever I see mom of babies and toddlers going through a harrowing stage of their kids and ask, “Has anybody else gone through the same?”; I feeling like telling them, “Parenting ek aag ka dariya hai doob ke jaana hai”.” The kids of mine that you see smiling and standing tall today were the ones who puked, made me stay awake all night, refused to eat sometimes, wrote mirror images, got multiplication tables all wrong, and so on!
I have actually no advice for them as frankly now I don’t even remember how I handled the kids in those situations. All I can say is “Yes we all go through the same. Raising children is not easy new mommy. Hang in there and have loads of patience!”

No one can repay their parents’ debt

Since yesterday the video clip of a Bengali bride refusing to do the kanakanjali (ritual of throwing the rice backwards to repay the parents’ debt) has gone viral. She very bluntly said, “No one can repay the parents’ debt.” Also, in the same video some lady said, “Come again”. She very casually said, “Of course, its my home. I will come whenever I wish to.” The girl went smiling, she wasn’t crying. I really loved the gutsy bride. The best thing was none of the nosy relatives or people could say anything to her, at least on her face. That’s how the girls should be!

I liked it! Even I didn’t do Kanakanjali after my wedding. This was eons ago. What does one mean by repaying a parent’s debt?? Also, I went smiling with my husband and didn’t cry during “bidai”. Why do generally brides cry during Bidai during Indian weddings? Because in most cases the girl loses the freedom to visit her parents as and when she wishes, the parents lose their “right” over her and so on! I was smiling because I was happy to start a new life and till this day have the “right” to visit my parents as and when I wish to!

May be I was fortunate. But I strongly believe the girls should be raised strong and gutsy as that Bengali bride who refused to give in to the age-old rituals which should be defunct by now. Log to waise bhi bolte hai hain!

A daughter will always remain a daughter for her parents and the relation and rights shouldn’t change with marriage.

Learn to enjoy that moment

This year it has been quite cold in Mumbai, as per Mumbai standards!  I am quite enjoying it, so is my family.  But heard people complaining, “When will this chill go?”  Well..they are the same people who complain during summers “Can’t tolerate this humid weather anymore!”

We humans are strange, aren’t we?  Most of us don’t actually cherish and soak the moment that we are in.  When the kids are babies, parents wait for them to be toddlers, when they become toddlers, they wait for them to be independent and grown up, when they grow up and become independent, the parents don’t wish them to leave the nest and wish they were still babies!

A student wants a good career, then a good job, then a better job, then some more money, more goes on and on!  When a person has all this, he yearns for peace!  How many of us really enjoy that particular phase or moment without any complaints?

Let’s learn to take each day, each moment, each phase as it comes. is a cocktail of good times and trying and testing times; so when there is winter don’t wait for the summer..enjoy the winter; summer will follow soon!

Never say never

Let me confess, I don’t really like to slog in the kitchen for long hours. Though I am a fairly good chef (that’s what I believe), but making delicacies daily or trying out new stuff is not really my forte. I would rather do something else than be in the kitchen.
But something happened last week. For some reason, I wasn’t in the best of mood and like some miracle I found cooking therapeutic! Me, who has never been a passionate cook, was actually churning out dishes which I hadn’t made for quite some time now. From Kadhi pakoda to pakodas to kheer to idli sambhar chutney to chicken in a different style with paranthas, I was going ballistic!!
So, lesson learnt. One should never believe that “mere saath aisa kabhi nahin hoga.” I don’t know was it hormones, age, mood, the sudden awakening of my latent culinary bhi and the family enjoyed the food!

Gender Equality: In the right way..

As a society, we always emphasize the need for gender equality, which is how it should be. But sometimes do we tilt more towards being biased, towards the girls/women, in trying to achieve the equality?
We need to make our daughters strong and vocal but sometimes in doing so girls are made too aggressive by the parents where they start behaving obnoxiously with the boys/men; even when not required. They become unnecessarily rude and entitled. Taking pride in not knowing housework or cooking is not women emancipation. Yes, we need to teach our boys housework and cooking, that doesn’t mean we should stop teaching our girls the same.
The girls should be taught to exercise their choice to marry or not marry but portraying marriage in a negative light and blaming the men for everything should not be taught to them.
I am the mother of both a son and a daughter and my son is as compassionate, helping, respectful, strong as my daughter because that’s the way me and my husband have raised him. Similarly, we teach our daughter to be safe, strong, vocal, confident, take no crap from anyone, but we don’t teach her that “All men are dogs” or “All men are the same”. She also needs to learn to differentiate between the good and bad men. Gender equality is when both genders work and live in tandem and not against each other.