सफल दम्पति

तीन दिन पहले टीवी पर एक राजकुमार और राजकुमारी की शादी सारी दुनिया ने देखा.  जिस तरह से वे दोनों एक दूसरे की ओर प्यार से देख रहे थे सबने कहा यह दोनों मिसाल हैं एक सफल दम्पति के.  उनको खुश देखकर बड़ी ख़ुशी हुई.

पर एक सफल दम्पति कहलाने के लिए कई साल लग जाते हैं.  शादी के दिन तो सभी खुश होते हैं, सुन्दर सपने सजाते हैं, रंगीन सपने देखते हैं.  असल ज़िन्दगी तो शादी के बाद शुरू होती है.  एक दम्पति तभी सफल कहलाता है जब वे सुख दुःख में एक दुसरे का साथ दें बिना एक दूसरे को दोष दिए.  रिश्ते की मज़बूती का तब एहसास होता है जब दोनों अपने बच्चों की परवरिश एक साथ करते हैं, घर का काम, हर सुख दुख आधा आधा बाँट लेते हैं.  एक शादी तभी सफल होती है जब पति पत्नी एक दुसरे के साथ हो नाकि एक दुसरे के खिलाफ.  जब दोनों यह न कहे के “तुम्हारे माँ-बाप या भाई बहन में ये कमी है” पर एक दुसरे के परिवारों की इज़्ज़त करे और उनकी खामियों को समझकर बात करें न की अपने रिश्ते पर आंच आने दे.  एक शादी तब सफल है जब पति पत्नी एक दुसरे का सम्मान सबके सामने महफूज़ रखे नाकि दुनिया के सामने उसे नीचा दिखाए.

शादी के इस लम्बे सफर में बहुत सारे उतर चढ़ाव आते हैं, बहुत सारे प्रलोभन आते हैं जो मन को भटका सकते हैं, पर उनको जिस दम्पति ने एक दूसरे का साथ देकर पार कर लिया वही एक मज़बूत रिश्ते को अंजाम देते हैं.

जिस प्यार और सम्मान के साथ राजकुमार और राजकुमारी एक दुसरे को देख रहे थे अगर २० साल बाद भी वैसे ही देखे तभी वे एक सफल दम्पति कहलाएंगे.  वक़्त, उम्र और अनुभव अगर उस प्यार-भरी नज़र को छीन न सके तभी उनकी शादी एक मिसाल होगी.  आशा है ऐसा ही होगा.

But I don’t have a degree..

I was young when I got married

I was young when I carried

Yet I managed both the roles fairly well

I was doing good in life skills

Good enough to teach..you agree?

But no..I don’t have a degree.

I learned the art of managing people

It was, as you all know, not that simple

I can now teach people life skills

But now..I don’t have a degree.

I handled my children at various stage

Infant, toddler, and now teenage

I can be a good child counselor now

But no..I don’t have a degree.

I have learnt to fake which I never knew

I have realized true friends are a few

I can now read people’s mind

Who’s cruel and who’s kind

I can be a good psychologist

But no..I don’t have a degree.

I can give tips on cooking

Give tips how to be pretty looking

But can I join somewhere?

No..I don’t have a degree.

Life is the best institute

Which has no other substitute

With the teachers being

Happiness, heartbreak, sorrow, betrayal

We all are Masters of Life

And yes that’s the best degree.





Taken For Granted Housewife..

The alarm clock woke up Neerja in her usual time of 5 a.m.  She was feeling lazy and a bit uneasy.  But she knew she couldn’t rest.  Her kids Rashi and Ratan had their school, her husband Suraj had to go for an urgent meeting, and her mother-in-law needed her morning medicines on time.

She woke up and went for a bath.  Her mother-in-law had strict instructions of not entering the kitchen if she hadn’t taken a bath.  So despite being feeling feverish and the fact that it was cold Delhi winter morning Neerja had to take a bath.  She went in the kitchen and like a robot made separate dishes for breakfast and tiffin for everyone.  She woke up everyone at 6:30 a.m.  Nobody looked at her face or asked her how she felt.  By now, after all these years, she was used to it.  By 9 a.m.  she felt as if her body was burning and felt dizzy too.  She just went and lied down on the bed.  She wanted to cry, wanted to feel loved.

Just then she saw her school friend Seema’s number flash on her mobile.  Seema was her friend for more than 30 years now.  Neerja confided everything in Seema.  Neerja picked up the phone and in a glum voice said, “Hello”.  Seema immediately realized that something was wrong.  She told Neerja, “Just wait, I will be there in half an hour.”  Within half an hour, she reached Neerja’s home and was startled looking at her condition.  Neerja was having high fever with chills and vomited thrice after Seema reached there.  Seema immediately called the doctor and technician to collect blood sample.

The doctor suspected Neerja as having malaria and started her on medications.  Seema was with Neerja the whole day.  She gave her food, she even served Neerja’s mother-in-law who had not once bothered to ask about Neerja’s well being.  By evening Neerja’s husband and kids had also come home.  They went into their respective rooms and simply yelled, “Mom/Neerja give me something to eat.”

Seema had enough of that crap.  She went in the living room and called everyone.  In a calm but firm tone she said, “Do you guys even bother to know whether Neerja is dead or alive?  All you want is a servant to serve you guys.  What kind of a family are you?  So selfish?  Aunty, she takes care of you so much yet despite knowing that she is unwell you didn’t even bother!  Suraj, Rashi, Ratan how can you be so cruel?  Here a woman is slogging day in and day out for you and you don’t even bother to ask about her well being?  Neerja has been detected with malaria and she will be on bed rest for at least 20 days now.  Now go figure how you guys will manage.” Seema stomped out of the room and went to Neerja.

She calmly and lovingly talked to Neerja.  “Neerja, its good to take care of your family but don’t try to become so sacrificing and devoted that you forget your own existence.  If you are not well, you need to let your family know about it.  If you are sad, tell your family about it.  No point in trying to make everyone else happy but yourself.  You have made your kids selfish too!  They are learning it from their dad and grandma that its okay to take you for granted.  Don’t bother about how your family will manage in your illness.  I will see to it and you will see to it that they take care of you.  Once you are alright start showing your emotions, involve the family in household chores as well as in your happiness and sorrow.  Its okay to express, its okay to be human.  Take care.”

Neerja could hear the family struggling in the kitchen.  She had an itch to go there and help them, but she simply closed her eyes and rested.  She needed this rest since a long time.

Not the conventional mother

Not making motherhood all about the sacrifices and tears of a mother, here is how I am totally “misfit” in that image:
1. I don’t force my kids to eat kaddu, lauki, tinda, baingan, etc..as I myself don’t like most of these veggies!😛
2. Since the time the kids have become a bit independent, sometimes I am the last one to wake up on holidays. I am not the “kitchen slogging” kind of mom! My kids can make their own toast and stop depending on me for garma-garam aloo ka paranthas..🙈
3. If my kids misbehave with me, I am not the kind of mom would shed silent tears in some corner of the house. I will give them a piece of mind, argue with them, cry in front of them and then have a tub of ice cream with them😃
4. I never ever ask my kids to make their classmates bhai or behen. Well..can’t the opposite gender simply be friends?
5. My kids are more flabbergasted to see me in a saree or traditional outfit. You know they are so used to seeing me in comfy tracks and tees😝
6. Instead of sneaking into their phones, I laugh at funny videos and sometimes “teen-zoned” jokes with my kids. That makes both me and them comfortable😉
But at the end of the day my kids still love me and have been raised well..😍

My child has specs, that doesn’t make him weak!

Today a friend of mine in the course of conversation said that her 8-year-old daughter is being bullied in the school because she wears specs.

My mind took me 7 years back when my then 6-year-old son started complaining of vision issues, not able to see properly from last bench, not able to read small alphabets from far. As expected, it turned out that he had power in his eyes, the left eye power being pretty high. As any other mom, I was shattered, questioned my own faults but the affable eye specialist told me that it was purely genetics and had nothing to do with diet or gadgets. My son, Ananyo, who was in class 2 then started wearing specs and it worried me no end as to how he would be able to manage as he was so young, his confidence might get shattered, he might be teased and bullied, he might not be able to lead a “normal active” life.

But as a mother I had to be strong. I never showed my apprehensions or any kind of sorrow in front of my little son and always gave him strength and confidence to face the world. To my little son’s credit he coped up with the situation very well. Yes..he was called “chashmish”, was teased, but his own strength helped him cope through. He had his days of struggle and angst but we as a family sailed through.

As the eye specialist had mentioned with growth his power would increase and yes it has increased, something beyond our control, but then life is not under our control always!

Today my son is a strapping confident teenager who is an avid football player, is in school’s football team. He is very confident in his skin. He has no confidence issues or complexes because of his specs..

Together we have won another challenge..


Teens are not selfish..


I am not a big fan of sci-fi movies. Generally, my husband and son are the ones who like it and go to watch it together. This has been going on for a few years now. Now with my son having grown up and having his set of friends he mostly plans movies with his friends at times. My husband one day was sulking, “Now that he will watch all those English movies with his friends, whom will I watch the movies with? I will miss my partner.” My son reassured, “Don’t worry Baba, I will watch the movies twice, once with my friends and once with you.”

He has till now kept his word. Yesterday he came back from Surat trip with his friends and went in the night show to watch “Avengers: Infinity War” movie with his dad, before he watched it with his friends.

I often hear how teenagers are selfish and self-centered, specially boys who are not caring and thoughtful. Not true at all! Of course, as parents we have to accept the fact that they will move on in life, have their friends, a life of their own, but that doesn’t mean that they are selfish..

Aunty bhook lagi!

I have two growing-up kids, a 15-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter.  Both are quite active kids. They have their huge circle of friends, like all the other kids do.  Whenever they come to my home, they are hungry!  Kids play a lot, are growing up, and hence are eternally hungry.  Also, they don’t want to waste time eating up elaborate stuff, they simply want to play and chat!  Moreover, they want their snacks to be tasty.  As a mother, I don’t want to compromise on their health as much as I can.

Here are a few ideas of quick-fix snacks recipes for the growing up active children.  You don’t have to worry about making elaborate meals or snacks as moms these days are busy too.

1.  Keep a stock of few things always readily available in your fridge.  Boiled potatoes; vegetables like capsicum, bell peppers, cucumber, tomato, cheese slices, cheese spread, sandwich spread, pasta and pizza sauce, pizza bread, brown bread.  For non-vegetarian friends of your kids, you can keep boiled eggs, boiled and shredded chicken.  Always have onions handy too.  Also store olive oil and butter.  You can also make green sandwich chutney and store it in the fridge for a few days.  Kids love tomato ketchup, so keep it too!  For really instant snacks, keep readily available Bhel mix and fries (not to be given daily though).  Store atta dough in the fridge as well as kids love paranthas and puris.  Kids love Nutella and jam, so don’t forget to make them readily available at home.  For quick-fix fried rice always store cooked rice in the fridge.  For desserts, store chocolate and vanilla ice cream.

2.  For a quick sandwich, you can keep a cheese slice between two bread slices, toast it on the tawa with slight butter and olive oil and give it to the children.  For quick veg sandwich, apply sandwich spread on the bread slice, keep cut onion slices, boiled potato slices, cucumber and tomato slices, sprinkle chat masala, salt (optional as sandwich spread already has salt in it).  Toast it on the tawa with slight butter/olive oil and see the kids relish the sandwich.  You can use green chutney on one layer of the bread to give a tangy taste with the same veggie combination.   For non-veg lovers, make chicken sandwich by substituting the veggies with boiled and shredded chicken or boiled and sliced eggs.

3.  Make a quick aloo sabzi by adding jeera, diced onion, and tomatoes in a kadhai with heated oil.  Add diced boiled potatoes.  Add salt, jeera powder, little red chilly powder, kasoori methi and add water as per the consistency desired.  Make puris to go with it.  Make a quick aloo parantha stuffing by mashing boiled potatoes, add finely chopped onions, green chillies (you can avoid it if not desired), finely chopped coriander leaves, salt, red chilly powder, amchur powder, jeera powder.  Mix it well.  Keep it in the fridge for 15-20 minutes.  Roll out piping hot delicious aloo paranthas for the kids.  For the non-veg lovers, make an egg batter in a similar fashion as the aloo parantha stuffing and make yummy egg paranthas.

4.  My daughter loves this fried rice recipe of mine.  Heat oil/butter in a kadhai, add diced onions, capsicum and bell peppers.  Add cooked rice, add salt, pepper and piri piri mix (readily available in market).  Mix them well and tangy spicy piri piri rice is ready!  For giving the fried rice a Chinese touch, add mix vegetables, a hint of soya sauce, vinegar, and chilly sauce.  Add shredded chicken for non-veg lovers.  Kids will relish this fried rice.

5.  Storing ice cream will help you many ways.  You can simply serve the kids ice cream.  Drizzle it with chocolate syrup.  Make milk shake by mixing the ice cream with milk and blending it in a blender.  You can cut fruits and mix it with ice cream to give it a healthy touch.

You can try many other permutations and combinations.  So, the next time the kids say “Aunty, we are hungry”, try these recipes out!