Raise daughters as humans and not as Laxmi or Durga

This is specially for our daughters and I am sure we all are doing this now. Do not tell them that the happiness and honor of the family rides on them. Do not tell them that they are the “bridge” of the family and relations. Do not teach them to quietly sacrifice everything and then later resent or repent. Do not tell them to prioritize their happiness and health the least. Ask them to be vocal about their problems, their dreams, their desires.
Day in and day out I read and I see women being sad, depressed, resentful because no one appreciates their sacrifices or the fact that they are trying to make everyone happy yet no one is happy with her. Unrealistic expectations from women is the reason of all the sorrow. No we are not raising “Laxmi” or “Durga”, we are raising humans and let the daughters be just that.

Savor the little joys of life..

What is happiness, the little joys of life:

Planning a holiday with your family
Awaiting the arrival of an Amazon delivery
Looking at your teen smile to the mobile
Listening to the calls of the hubby animatedly for a while

Asking your much taller daughter to fetch the container high on the shelf where you can’t reach anymore
Looking at your mom’s smiling photo with her friend meeting after yore
Cracking a deal you have been waiting for long
Getting nostalgic listening to the school-time song

Attending a session or a meet with women from all walks of life
Where they laugh and giggle like schoolgirls, leaving behind the tag of mom and wife
The bear hug from the son, the silly jokes with the daughter, the mock banter with the hubby
Eating that favorite chocolate, writing a heartfelt blog, or pursuing an old hobby

Life throws multiple reasons to be sad, unhappy and worry
Just sometimes savor the happiness in those small moments
Don’t rush, don’t sulk, don’t be in a hurry..

My biggest achievement in life

I have been working from home since the time my son was 9 months old. The work-from-home journey has not been easy at all. There have been times when the money has been more, sometimes less, sometimes nil. I had to take breaks in between due to health issues or job dissatisfaction or kids being small.

This month after many months I got a good amount, not a great one but good one. I was happy and shared it with my son this morning. His tall frame took my short frame in his embrace and said, “That’s really awesome Maa! Keep it up.” I said, “But baby, I have a long way to go. Hope to earn even better.” He said, “It will happen Maa. Somewhere the journey has started. It will fall in place soon.”

Its an indescribable feeling when the child whom you have nurtured and motivated at every juncture of life gives you the motivation and strength.

Yes..being a mother has been the biggest achievement of my life and I am not ashamed to admit it.

Nothing compares to you

While raising the two little children, there were days when I would tell my husband, “I can’t do it anymore. I want to quit.” I let go off many opportunities that came my way. There were times when I had to stay strong while I was crumbling from inside looking at my injured or bullied child. There have been days when I cried with guilt after my kids slept as I felt I had been hard on them a tad too much. There have been difficult days where I had to wake up feeling unwell but had to take care of my little children.

But I can never be thankful enough to have such wonderful children in my life who love me with all my flaws. They take care of me, understand my emotions, handle my PMS, my arthritis pains, and hug my small frame with their tall frames leaning on me. Every pain, every tear, every guilt is worth this love..

Aaj ka moment jee lene do..

What is the big generation change? Our generation teens listening to a pop song or a hardcore rock song, the parents (not all but most) would say “What are you listening to? Is this music? This is only noise with nonsensical lyrics.” My teenager excitedly telling me, “You know Maa what, in the Malhar fest Kaam Bhaari will be performing. My friend is a big fan of his.” I am aware of who Kaam Bhaari is. He is a Hindi rapper who is popular among many youngsters. I share my son’s happiness and excitement.
Today’s generation is more of inclusive parenting. Sometimes its good to be bachcha with your bachchas, even if you might not understand or like their taste. After all, they like it and enjoy it. Ten years down the line they might be fan of some other singer or performer. They will no more been the carefree teens.
Aaj ka moment jee lene do..

Spare LinkedIn Please!

Most of us are on LinkedIn for professional reasons, to seek new avenues, to connect with people of similar interests and areas.  The purpose of Linkedln is solely and purely to connect with individuals for work.

But, of late LinkedIn seems to be going the Facebook way.  How?  Since the past few months, there have been instances where men working in good positions in well known firms have connected with me citing professional reasons and then slowly shifted their conversation asking about personal details, mobile number, and showed interest in connecting with me on WhatsApp.  Things which we commonly hear on FB messenger from random men like “Nice DP”, “Looking beautiful” and so on have slowly crept in LinkedIn messages.

To all such men, please let the sanctity and purpose of LinkedIn be!  If you want to connect with women interested in dating, please join Tinder or such dating apps.  LinkedIn is definitely not the place for all this.

Please look at my job profile, my interests rather than my DP.  Don’t behave like those “taporis” on FB messenger..

Awareness about inclusion

My daughter’s computer teacher was teaching them how to create admission forms. When she was making boxes for genders, the teacher created male and female gender boxes. My daughter asked the teacher, “Miss, where is the box to tick for “others”?” The teacher smiled and created that box.
I was happy that this generation is realizing the importance of respecting everyone and aware of their existence, identity and inclusion. This is something I never discussed with my daughter as such though we have talked about it, but this was her own observation. Felt good 🙂