Accepting and forgiving myself

It seems that the decade just went by, but is it so?  A decade means 10 years and 10 years is a long span.  When I look back, I realize that I have indeed changed, not a lot, but quite a bit.

In 2010, there I was handling 2 small kids, trying to balance it with my work from home profile.  I believe I took parenting a bit too seriously back then, as it was in the back of my mind that I was responsible for shaping my children as individuals.  I was too worked up with everything.

Last decade I had started writing again.  I remember I used to write as a kid but with time and responsibilities writing had taken a backseat.  Writing simply started with me sharing my parenting stories and experiences in various platforms.  Soon, I began to blog about it more seriously.  Yes..I could have been more aggressive and marketed myself better but for me blogging is more of sharing my experiences than gaining any kind of stardom or winning awards.

Also, the last decade taught me how people can be fake and selfish.  There are many women/writers who claimed to be my friends or wanted my help and once they were done with it they wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge or keep in touch.  I have now become more wary of term “friendship” and “sisterhood” as I have seen these terms being used very loosely.

Present day, I am a 40 plus woman who is much calmer, much wiser, a little less accepting.  I have stopped trying to fit in.  I am happier with my family, my genuine friends and appreciators.  My son is now on the verge of adulthood and my daughter on the verge of being a teenager.  I have raised them well and that gives me immense satisfaction.  The last 10 years took a lot of hard work in raising them, shaping them and I today I can relax now that they are good individuals.

We learn with experience, with time, and sometimes we women are too hard on ourselves.  The decade that went by taught me to be more accepting of myself and forgive myself for the mistakes that I did, unknowingly.

So, I tell myself and every other woman out there. “Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know”.

“This post is a part of ‘DECADE Blog Hop’ #DecadeHop organized by #RRxMM Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul. The Event is sponsored by Glo and co-sponsored by Beyond The Box, Wedding Clap, The Colaba Store and Sanity Daily in association with authors Piyusha Vir and Richa S Mukherjee”

54 thoughts on “Accepting and forgiving myself

  1. An extremely poignant and much needed message. It is only when we are able to forgive ourselves that we can actually build successful relationships and lead a fulfilling life,
    Easier said than done though. We are extremely tough on ourselves most of the times.

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    1. Thanks for reading. I believe this comes with experience. When we are younger we are too hard on ourselves as we are raised with certain notions. As life moves on, we realize that we complicate things many a times.

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      1. Forgiving ourselves.. yep I am telling myself that too.. sometimes we hold ourselves to high standards and have too many ideas and goals. I have also been trying to be kind to myself. Good post and all the best!

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  2. It’s good to learn as life progresses . Experiences teach us the real wisdom . I am also in my forties and my daughter is a teenager . I have stopped being too fussy about things now . Learning to adjust in all situations . You have well learnt the art of accepting yourself as you are .

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  3. Sorry to hear that you have gone through bad experiences in matter of friendship. We all go through the same at some point in our lives and that is when we realise who are our true friends.

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  4. I follow you and saw your pictures with your kids. A completely happy family. Touch Wood! I feel very connected with the post because you are very true, there are very few who are trustworthy and real friends in this virtual world. I accepted this also but happy at the same time, there are some too who are genuinely your friend and want to connect with you as a person. Very honestly written! Best wishes!

    Deepika Mishra

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  5. So right! We women are harsh on ourselves and on other women too sometimes. Live and let live is a policy best adopted.
    Unless we accept and forgive ourselves we can not move on.
    That’s a valuable point!

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  6. Your title itself says everything in itself. It doesn’t come easy as you said but after going through series of experiences, you realise how important it is to accept and embrace yourself first and opt for forgiveness instead of blaming yourself for petty things!!

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  7. A much-needed message for all the ladies out there. Most of us try to act as though we are superwomen and at the same time forget that we also have certain limits. Unless we forgive ourselves we can’t move on.

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  8. I agree with you Ritwika when you say that terms like sisterhood and friendship have come to be used very loosely due to advent of online friendships. But I must also admit, tha I have found some amazing like minded people online, who I would love to call my friends. The key is in being cautious yet being open minded to let genuine people come into our life.

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    1. I totally agree with you. Even I have made some very good friends along the way, but some people have given bitter experiences. I guess that’s what’s life is all about. Thanks for reading.

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  9. An absolutely honest and from the heart take on the decade. Life Ianthe biggest teacher and we sure do learn from the experiences. I’m glad it taught you well. Hoping the coming decade treats you great.

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  10. I am reading a post from u after a long long time.. either i missed out on your posts or u went into hibernation? I always love reading your practical view of life.. its sweet and its bitter too.. sometimes hard to digest, but that’s what life is about. u take everything that comes to u.one step at a time making u wiser n calmer. Stay strong lady.n looking forward to reading more from u.

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  11. I have had similar experiences with so-called friends and sisterhood who just use you and turn away.This was especially after my husband passed away. I was left totally alone..shunned by all. That s a very candid and real write-up. Best wished to u for the coming decade.

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  12. Every journey is full of experiences that shape our perspective towards life, individuals and certain important aspects. You might have had some miss calculations or regrets at the moment but I am sure, now, looking back and comparing it to the mature, relaxed and balanced surroundings that you were able to create for yourself and family was all you desired and wanted. Your children are privileged of having your shadow and guidance all throughout.

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