The horrific and shocking murder of a 12-year-old boy by 2 class 12 boys in a school in Dehradun compels me to write this. No child, here let me talk about boys, is born a criminal. Then what happens as he starts growing up? In a male-crazed nation like ours, parents allow the boys to get away with everything right from the childhood stating “bachcha hai” or “ladke to aisa karte hi hain.” I see so many new moms scared to discipline their children, crying or getting sad if their children insult them. Aggression is thought to be a “boy” thing and hence never corrected. Rules are imposed on girls but rarely those rules are applied to the boys. Values of compassion, love, forgiveness, empathy, sympathy are thought to be “girlie”. Boys don’t cry, can’t be vulnerable, can’t show their weak side, can’t fail, can’t be wrong. They are “mard” after all.
I have a son too who is now 16 and he has turned out to be a good guy. No, he wasn’t born like this, me and my husband took great efforts to raise him like this. I have the same set of rules for both my son and daughter. I have taught both of them love, compassion, humanity. I have rebuked and reprimanded both of them when they have faltered or misbehaved. I still am not shy of scolding or punishing my son if he is wrong. I am the parent and I am not scared that he will hate me. He must have hated me many a times in his childhood when I was strict and even now, but if that temporary hate allows him to be a good human so be it. I talk to him, try to analyze and watch his behavioral changes, aggression at times, and correct them as and when required. Today when people compliment for my son’s values and behavior, all I say is it wasn’t easy, but as a parent it was and will be my responsibility so that tomorrow some other parent/child doesn’t get affected by his behavior.
We are the parents, lets keep an eye, talk, love, take charge..