Do you ever treat your spouse like you treat your children?

You must be shocked to read the heading, isn’t it?  Before you pounce me for saying this, hear me out first.

No..I am not asking you to treat your spouse (husband and wife both) like your little kids, i.e., you give in to their whims and tantrums (at times), teach them life lessons, discipline them, mollycoddle them at times, keep a track of their whereabouts, and so on.

But have you ever wondered that most couples treat their kids, parents, outsiders, colleagues with compassion and respect but their own spouse!  Agreed that the spouse becomes like a habit and we all start taking them for granted but somewhere that compassion and respect starts missing sometimes; not generalizing but seen in most couples who have been married for few years.

The wife laments that the husband doesn’t pay attention to her appearance, doesn’t appreciate her cooking, doesn’t acknowledge her care, concern and support.  They support their parents and children more than they support their wife.  The husband on the other hand feels that the wife doesn’t appreciate his hard work, spends more time with the children, complains about him to her parents, friends, even on social media.

Why is it that both start drifting apart?  What do you do when your child has had a bad day or is hurt or in tension?  You give him/her hugs and kisses, try to motivate the child by kind and encouraging words.  Can’t the husband/wife do the same for their spouse?  Your husband/wife has had a hard day and instead of hugs and kind words you start to squabble and complain!  Few years into marriage and one can very well read the spouse’s face, just like they can read their children’s.

When the parents get older, we often ignore their mood swings, outbursts, tantrums, hurtful words.  Can’t we sometimes do that for our spouse?  I am not saying that one should stop communicating about their inner feelings with their spouse, but just like we communicate with our children, parents and outsiders, we should try and do that more with our spouse.

A relationship which generally lasts the longest is often the most neglected one.  Nagging, complaining, pinpointing faults, comparing, not supporting the spouse, lack of touch, lack of communication (not arguments) often cause rift in the relationship.  Just as we try to strengthen our relationship with our kids through our gestures and words, sometimes we need to do the same with our spouse.  What say?

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