The day I realized I was strong and vulnerable…

Every mom knows that motherhood is a challenging journey.  When I got my first bundle of joy, my son, in my arms, I just looked at him and thought, “How am I going to raise this little creature?”  Being in a nuclear set-up, it was only the strong support of my husband that helped me sail through this journey.

Time went by and 5 years later I gave birth to a beautiful daughter.  Just when I had settled in raising one child, I had the challenge of raising two children.  I didn’t want to do injustice to either child of mine.

Moms who are in nuclear family will agree that its so difficult at times to raise 2 small kids without any support.  There are days when I used to fall ill, my husband used to travel, both kids would fall ill simultaneously, and I would say, “I give up!  I can’t do this anymore.”

But then there are defining moments in this long parenting journey when you suddenly realize that you are much more capable and stronger than you think you are!

It was a rainy July evening.  My husband had gone to Dubai for office work.  My son was finishing his homework and my daughter was fooling around.  My son was 7 years old then and my daughter was 2.  As it happens in any toddler’s house, toys were scattered around the floor.  I used to clear them up once my daughter was done with her playing.

My daughter was drinking water from a glass and before I could realize she spilled it.  I went to get a cloth to wipe the water.  Suddenly, I heard a loud thud and my daughter’s cry.  I ran to the room and saw that my daughter had slipped and fallen down.  When I took her in my arms, I saw that she was bleeding from her head.  I looked around and saw that the edge of a broken toy had pierced her scalp.

I froze for a moment.  The sight of blood from your child makes you go numb.  But I couldn’t waste any time.  My son also got disturbed.  I calmly told my son, “Stay at home.  Don’t go anywhere.  I am going to the doctor.”

It was 8:30 in the night.  It was raining still.  I got an auto, went to the doctor.  Being a Saturday, there was a long queue.  But there are good Samaritans everywhere.  All the other parents saw that my daughter was bleeding and they allowed me to go first.

The doctor fixed the wound with two staples, dressed it, gave medicine, and reassured that it wasn’t serious.  I was relieved!

I came back home.  My daughter was fine by then.  I laughed and played with both my children.  We had dinner and I put my kids to sleep.

And then, I broke down.  I was shaken.  My biggest support, my hubby, wasn’t around too.  I couldn’t show my fear in front of my little, already shaken kids.  I cried for some time and then I realized that I had been so strong that evening.

Mothers have to be strong.  Life throws many situations where the mother cannot give up, cannot break down.  She has to fight, has to act wisely, has to use her presence of mind.

Today my children are 15 and 10 years old, but that incident still haunts me.  It was one of those incidents where I was both strong and vulnerable..

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