I have been a short-tempered person since childhood (blame it on my genes). I became a mother pretty young and wanted to be “good” mother and raise a “good” kid who would be disciplined, eat, sleep and study on time. In doing so, I would lose my cool many a times and my firstborn had to bear the brunt of it. I didn’t want to make any mistakes and get blamed for raising a “not-so-good” son. Over the years, I realized after introspection that I was not doing the right thing. My child was unnecessarily at my receiving end many a times because of my temper. Thanks to my own introspection and my husband’s calm demeanor, I have mellowed down, slowed down, started to let things go. My second child didn’t have to bear the brunt of my immaturity and temper as much as my first one had to. The first child is special yet sometimes the immature and young mother tends to overdo stuff, both positively and negatively. I have apologized to my older child and he has always simply laughed it off. Thankfully he has inherited his father’s “calm genes.” I am still very particular when it comes to discipline and routine yet have loosened up a lot over time. May be this is what maturity is all about.
Motherhood doesn’t come with a manual. Shaping a little helpless, clueless bundle into a good human being is a tremendous responsibility. The mother falters too, makes mistakes. The acceptance and rectification of those mistakes is necessary. Its not that I don’t lose my cool now but the motherhood and life experiences stop me from committing the same mistakes again..