When the kids are newborn to till about age 5 they require maximum physical attention. The helpless little bundle which we stare at soon after its birth needs to be taught everything. Unlike other animals, the human baby is totally “untrained.” When my babies were born, both times I had the feeling, “Now how do I raise these little things?” The feeling of anxiousness was a little lesser the second time though after the second baby the feeling was, “Now how do I raise both these little ones equally well!”
Every parent goes through the same anxious moments, the tears of joy, the frustrations of failure, the helplessness of not being able to decipher the crying of the child, the elation of achievement when the child learns something which the mother had been working hard for days to teach..
Time goes by. Kids start growing up, become independent. They have their own life, studies, circle of friends, activities. Sometimes the mother has the feeling that she is no longer important in the kids’ life. My mom also still feels the same though we keep on reassuring her!! Isn’t it strange that the reassurance that I give her is the same reassurance that I need to give myself too!! There are days of depression, annoyance, feeling of being “heartbroken”(haha)!
But on days when I don’t open the door and somebody else does and my kids ask, “Maa kothai? (Where is mom in Bengali) again the feeling of being “once a mom always a mom” resurfaces. There are days when my mom also feels the same but one phone call or one chat with her and she is happy again (I hope so)!
Now when I see moms of very young babies waiting for their children to grow up and become independent, I smile. How time changes! When my son was in pram, I used to wish for the same and lo behold 13 years flew by! The equation, the distance, the “necessity” might change but the bond of love always remains the same..