Since yesterday the social networking sites have been flooded with messages of Friendship Day. Whenever I see such posts, I always have a different take on these.
I was a very introvert child who had few friends; may be I didn’t have the ability or the inclination to make too many friends. This was further aggravated in my growing-up years due to some personal issues, body image issues, and my lack of confidence in myself. I could not approach new people and make friends. I could not strike a conversation because of confidence issues and hence considered to be a “snob”.. When I looked at a bunch of friends laughing carefree, backslapping, or being totally “bindaas” I so wanted to join them, be like them, but always held myself back! Wish I hadn’t.. Consequently, I was more of a loner in my college days with 2-3 friends with whom I would hang out. I sincerely wish I could turn back the clock and reinvent myself and get back those years where I would be more confident about myself, approach people better, and didn’t care about what perception others had about me.
I am still an introvert, but much more flexible than I used to be. I have opened up like never before, I can approach people much easily and with more confidence now. I can talk to people better. Yes..I still don’t hang out with huge groups or still take time to back slap or be totally “bindaas” but with someone who should have done all these in the “golden years” the compensation or reinvention is still not bad..
Now when I see my children enjoying their “Friendship Day” with gusto, with fervour, hanging out with friends, are confident around them, I go through two different emotions; I am really happy that my kids are able to enjoy what I missed out on but at the same time I really wish I hadn’t missed out on those special moments of friendship..