I was always a chubby child and was never made to forget that. I was made conscious at school, by relatives, and was subject to many snide remarks. During the growing up years when the mind was more vulnerable it hurt a lot and eventually I withdrew into a shell. As such, I was an introverted child and somewhat more inhibited by my small town conservative surroundings. Unlike my other friends, I could never really find confidence in dancing due to my inhibitions. My heart would encourage me to dance but my mind would discourage and hence I could never do that!
Time flew by, I got married and had my kids by the time I was 30. I had no time to think about my dreams or interests as I was pretty busy with bringing up my kids and supporting my hubby. Eventually the kids grew up a bit and I had more time on my hand and then I started to introspect. I wanted to overcome my inhibitions and wanted to now fulfil all the wishes which I couldn’t pursue due to circumstances. I got discouraged by the fact that I had crossed 30 and had some health issues as well as the old mental block. But slowly I started to motivate myself. I would give lots of credit to my husband and young kids for being my constant support.
Finally, I performed a dance number on stage with a group this month, in front of an audience, in front of my husband and kids. It was not easy for me. Women who have danced since their childhood and don’t have inhibitions find it no big deal, but for me it was. The performance actually went pretty well and I really felt liberated! I felt I had broken the chain of inhibition that I had since my childhood. I finally could accomplish one of my dreams.
I have a wishlist and I want to fulfil at least few of them so I don’t regret later..Its not going to be easy but its not impossible either!