What if….no regrets, no complaints

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

I am walking through the clean sparkling corridors of the hospital.  The staff greet me.  Then I meet and examine my patients and they share not just their ailments but their worries with me too.  They say I am a doctor who just doesn’t treat the body but treats the mind as well.  My patients are children who need to be dealt with lots of love and patience.  My job as a doctor is taxing but I love it.  That’s what I had wanted to become since I was a child.

What if I had become a doctor?  Yes, I am not a doctor but every time I sit in any doctor’s cabin somewhere my heart still aches.  I am very happy with my life.  May be I would have treated innumerable patients, instead now I write innumerable stories of my life.

What if I had become a doctor? May be I would have been married to someone else and not the wonderful man who is my husband now.  My kids would have been someone else and not the lovely kids that I have now.

What if I had become a doctor? May be some dreams might have been fulfilled but may be I might have missed out on the fantastic moments that life has offered me so far.

What if I had become a doctor? May be I wouldn’t be writing a blog and taken writing seriously as my passion.

Double standards

Women still fighting to enter a temple

Women being mocked at #MeToo

A 16-year-old rape victim denied admission in a school as if its her fault

Still the birth of a girl child being lamented upon

Still the girls/women asked to dress up and behave “properly” to avoid attention

Still marriage being seen as the salvation for any girl

Still so many women being ill treated at their marital home

Still many parents referring to their daughters as “paraya dhan”

And many, many more things to say..

And yet irony is that Devi is worshiped with fanfare

Whereas women still fighting for their love, respect and care..

Talk to your children..

In the wake of #metoo I have been reading a lot of posts. In one group, there were posts by anonymous people who shared their horrifying tales of sexual abuse, mostly as kids. Those people are adults now, some in their 50s and 60s yet the scar of the shame, guilt, disgust still remains. One thing common about most of them was that even at the age of 11-12 they didn’t know what was happening with them and that in most cases they couldn’t share their ordeal with their parents. That means they weren’t aware about good touch bad touch till that age and had no frank relationship with the parents. This is not surprising considering the fact that most people of our generation also couldn’t frankly talk about sex, sexual abuse, lewd looks and advances by close people to our parents.
 
It is very important to have a free channel of communication about good touch bad touch, saying No, free and frank communication with the parents else the scar of childhood always remains. The innocent child holds himself/herself responsible for the shameless act of the pervert adult. I believe times are changing and parents are becoming more forthcoming and vigilant. Parents’ hesitation to talk about body, sex, and consent with their kids might end up resulting in many more scarred minds.

Can’t life be simpler?

I was watching the old movie Anand of Rajesh Khanna and Amitabh Bachchan today. In that movie one thing I like most, apart from Rajesh Khanna’s character’s positive attitude, is the way relationships are made easily and lovingly. Anand makes a nurse love him like his mom, a doctor’s wife his sister, and another doctor’s wife his bhabhi. He makes good friendship with Dr. Bhaskar, Amitabh’s character too.

It made me think why can’t relationships be so simple and unadulterated in real life? Of late, I have seen lot of “friendships with benefits”, relations of convenience and some motive. Can’t life be simpler? Then we say that our generation and our kids’ generation has become more practical. They learn by observing us, don’t they?

The 21st Century Cinderella

When you raise a feminist daughter, fairy tales ka band baj jaata hai😂My daughter’s class had an essay writing competition yesterday and she chose to write the topic “How she would have rewritten the Cinderella story!”
 
As per my daughter, had she been Cinderella:
1. She would have stood up for her self-respect and not tolerated the humiliation by her step-mother and step-sisters.
2. She would have gone plain and simple to the ball. If the prince had to fall in love with her, he would love her as she is and not be besotted by her beauty.
3. She would or would not choose to marry the prince after the shoe fit her. She could lead an independent life too!
 
And yes..she secured third place in the essay writing competition😀

The crush

The lady saw a friend’s request on Facebook. As she clicked on the request, her heart skipped a beat. The familiar name brought back so many memories. It was her teenage school crush who had sent her the friend request.

Thirty long years had gone by, but suddenly she became that giggly, romantic schoolgirl again. A closer look at the photo revealed that the boy, now man, had gained weight, was balding, had signs of ageing. She smiled and thought she had also aged. She was no longer the pretty young schoolgirl. Her heart skipped a beat when she accepted the friend request; she was surprised! She wasn’t supposed to behave like this at the age of 46!

In some other city, a middle-aged man was anxiously waiting for the friend request to be accepted. He had been searching for his crush since the past 5 years since the time he had joined Facebook. Finally, one day he could find her profile. She was still pretty with that infectious smile. Time had made her older though! He was checking his FB every 5 minutes. He saw that she had accepted the friend request and the heart of a 46-year-old behaved like a 16-year-old.

Very nervously, he messaged “Hi..” Thirty years ago he had the same nervousness when he had given her a red rose.

Both knew that time had elapsed and now they could only be acquaintance and friends, but deep down somewhere the 16-year-old kids were giggling nervously…

Let them fight those little battles..

As parents, there are situations where we want to help our kids, but sometimes we are helpless and sometimes we want to make them strong and fight their little battles on their own. Few instances:
 
1. When the child goes to the playgroup/nursery for the first time.
2. When the child doesn’t win a small game and he/she is upset.
3. When the child is not selected for a program in the school that he/she was anticipating he/she would be a part of.
4. When the kids are injured and recovering.
5. When your little daughter has periods.
6. When your child is ignored/sidelined by his/her friends.
7. When the teacher picks on your child for no reason.
8. When your child is mocked for a physical trait (yeah we ask them to be strong)..
9. When you know that you cannot protect your daughter from the lewd gestures or prying eyes everywhere.
10. When your child is facing a tough time in life and all you can do is pray that things get better soon for him/her.